ITommy Ainsgarth gets buggered on t'engine

It were a dark November nighttime in Yorkshire. Nineteen XXX something. It weren't raining for once. Nor freezing neither. Nor fog. Lights of Grisegarth Signal box on t'Jack London and North Eastern Railway could be seen for miles.

passenger train issue forth past tense, headed for Grimsby, engine were off overreach a bit. It were an old ‘ un built be Beyers at Manchester for Lincolnshire and Yorkshire railroad. Four big driving cycle as big as a man and four piffling 'uns out front. Over thirty year old, mislay clip but nowt they couldn't mek up wi a bit o'speeding a bit over Ellerbeck viaduct and join beyond.

Next along were Immingham goods. On footplate were young Tommy Aisgarth. He were actual excited, officially like as he were locomotive cleaner, but he's done examination for fireman and it were his 1st time out firing engine on long stumble, He had been on shunting locomotive many sentence after having reached eighteen the age for working on engine footplate, but this were real thing.

Ted Moresely were driving, fat ugly pot bellied blighter, near as fat as he were tall, too bloody fat to get under engine to oil turn proper like.

He were pissed off, he usually drove a big B5 social class loco, built by George Jackie Robinson in 1922 but today he had a near new J39, a smaller gaudy locomotive built be Herbert Gresley what weren't really up to job so they shortened train to 40 police van, 600 tons.

It were maximal load for J39 and Tommy had to influence like a trojan horse, shovelling coal trying to save up steam. He were sweating bucket, he stripped off his crownwork and then his shirt as he shovelled ember inexpertly into the ravenous firebox of the loco. Ted kept the regulator one-half clear and the valves in full cogwheel to make Tommy perspiration. He could have saved half the coal if he'd pulled up up and opened regulator but he were a sadistic sod.

The banged and crashed up through Grisegarth and past Moresby top to summit box, all sign off and only two instant down with water bobbing in the bottom nut of calibre methamphetamine, Ted shut regulator and shouted for Tommy to put bouncy steam injector on to fill boiler.

locomotive began to clean up speed, Tommy went to put tea can on firing home base for a brew.

"Plenty of clip for that lad,"Ted says,"Time for a bit of fun."

"Fun Ted ?"Tommy asked.

"Fun, get thee knickers down I wan't to bugger thee,"Ted laughed.

"Bloody the pits, sodomise me, I mean not bugger me but don't bugger me like."Tommy blustered.

"Look lad, on footplate driver's in charge and I'm driver reet ?"Ted explained,"And I fancies ramming me cock up thee's ass, not that I ent queer nor nothing, just that wanking meks thee blind and I'd rather spend Johnny Cash on beer than on't ‘ ores.

"I dunno Ted,"Tommy says,"I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered."

"You refusing an social club from thee driver ?"Ted asks,"Sacking offense is that."

"Now hang on !"Tommy proested,"anal sex's all-fired illegal !"

"I'll tell they as thee let piss down and never looked out for signal, told I to get stuffed and made I shovel ember as thee were too knackered to do on't."Ted warned.

"Thee's a foul bugger,"says Tommy as string picked up speed down bank,"But I ‘ ant no alternative ‘ as I."

wellspring loco were blowing off steam and water system were coming up in glass so Tommy opened fire doors to cool down.

"Come on don't bugger about, '' Ted insisted

Reluctantly Tommy undid his whack and slipped his pants down.

Ted smirked"twosome thee self agin the backplate,"he chuckled.

"It's bloody red hot !"Tommy protested.

"sodomite, bloody Gresley, bloody GC engines has them lagged,"Ted cursed,"hang on to fucking water goop instead.

Tommy stood wi his breeks around his ankles gripping on to water scoop wheel while Ted eased hs brace off of his sholders and dropped his coveralls to reveal a short fat ugly cock barely poking out as far as his fat gut.

Ted wobbled as he aimed hs prick at Tommy's ass but missed half a twelve times when suddely wallop.

Teds hammer pressed an inch into Tommy's tight ass kettle of fish as the locomotive engine stopped pretty near dead.

There was a fearsome crashing of busted Grant Wood and metal engine reared up at backbone end and Ted and Tommy was flung against the boiler.

Tommy was stunned, he thought it was the shock of his ass hole busting but then Ted was screaming and there was coal off the tender and busted wood all around. Tommy were stunned but he dragged his pants back up and staggered around trying to make sense of it.

There were broken bits of carriages all round.

"sodomist me Ted we hit summat !"Tommy says.

"Agghhhhhh !"Ted screamed. Tommy couldn't see Ted.

"What's going off ?"Tommy asked.

"Agghhhhhhh !"Ted screamed again.

Tommy reached for the fire door lever to open ‘ em up so as he could see. The lever tumbler was jammed but ith the open position. He coldn't understand it so he grabbed the water gauge lamp.

"Arrrgghhhh !"screamed Ted.

Tommy shone the light. There were Ted wi his ass speared by the boss on the firebox door lever tumbler and all the skin burned off of his bum. Tommy felt retch and wanted to express joy at the Saami time.

"I go to sign box for regulation 55 !"he offered and he jumped down off of locomotive and headed for box.

Turned out express engne had rolled bad on Muncaster Viaduct and derailed tender, void brake had stopped it and trade good had run through five signals before hitting limited up the ass.

Ted were probably dead afore anyone bohered wi him. His ass were burned right away to the bone and he stay of him roasted though his boots were alright and his cap and pocket watch.

"By eck tha's a favorable chap,"said signalman as Tommy walked up steps to box.

"How d'yuo mean ?"Tommy asked.

"Walking away from tha'clangour,"he replied.

"Aye, hardly a dinero,"Tommy agreed.

"And thee number one wood ?"signalman asked.

"He was screaming a bit but he shut up now, priority is rule 55 ent it,"Tommy replied.

"Tha'll mek a fine railroader, have a brew and go back and if he's short nick his watch before some other sodomist does."

"Tha's a callous sodomite,"Tommy replied.

"Not if driver were one Ted Moresely,"Signalman explained,"Bastard said I put signals back agin him when he ran right through em, too busy buggering his fireman, has he buggered you an all ?"

Tommy said nowt.

"No sodomite liked him, tight fisted fat faineant bastard,"Signalman moaned.

"Can I use your bog ?"Tommy asked.

"No thee bloody can't,"Signalman said but it were too late Tommy had door open.

poor people Tommy never seen a lad porter in a uniform jacket crown and nowt else except for stockings and suspenders afore. So he fainted.

He was in waiting room at the station when he woke up. stationmaster were shaking him,"Eh no slacking."

"I just had a kick,"Tommy explained.

"What, wi Doris from refreshment room ?"Inspector asked.

"Nay we run into ass of Passenger."Tommy says.

"well go and unbosom rider stoker, he banged his head teacher, they're going on wi half train."he explained.

Tommy climbed onto passenger engine, Sid John Hancock were driver.

"Eye up thee all reet lad ?"he asked.

"Aye, Bloody Ted tried to bugger I and ne'er kept a spirit out,"Tommy says.

"Shoud have waited ‘ boulder clay Sir Oliver Joseph Lodge at Immingham,"he laughed,"Still stick wi I and I'll see thee right."

Tommy had no hassle wi railway locomotive and Sid took him to charge,"We usually shares stunt man bed drier and fireman together,"says driver,"But I pays extra."

"What for a unity room ?"asks Tommy.

"Nay lad for a tart,"he laughed.

Poor Tommy, he had to kip on storey. Landlady showed them to way. She were a widder, maybe 40 yr old, fat as a pig, then instead of buggering off while they turned in she stripped off and led on bed while Sid shagged her.

"You want a poke lad, I paid her for unanimous night ?"Sid asked.

"No thanks,"says Tommy.

"Look why be a gooseberry bush, sod off and keep our Dolores party why don't you ?"Landlady suggested.

Dolores were Landladies daugher, she were at Grimsby college learning hospitality.

Her bosom were straining the seam on her Cardigan, her sassing were like ruby, her heart were like, well middle, one were aristocratic and the other weren't, her hair was pure gold wi pitch blackness roots, her thigh were summat else and her aspect, had all the right bits and well thee don't have to wait at it when you're close up do thee.

"I'm dolly,"says Dolores.

"how-do-you-do doll,"says Tommy.

"comedian eh ?"she says.

"Nay stoker,"says Tommy.

"Got a girlfriend ?"says Dolly.

"Nay,"says Tommy.

"Been buggered ?"she asked.

"No !"says he.

"goodness, I'm doing Hospitality academic degree,"says Dolly,"Maybe you can help me wi me homework ?"

"I don't know,"says Tommy.

"I got test on hebdomad after succeeding and I still ‘ ant sucked a bloke off yet,"

"What ?"Tommy demanded.

"I wants to be a Hoo er and you has to be certified to desire to be a hoo er,"she said,"Least aways that's what me da says."

"Bin Fucked ?"Tommy asked.

"No that's final terminal figure,"Dolly explained.

"All reet, I lend thee me cock for blow job,"Tommy says as he dropped his breeches.

"Ooooh its so big !"Dolly says."They told me to say that no issue how big it is,"she admitted.

"smash up and twine thee laughing rig round it,"Tommy says all manly like.

"Not if you're going to be ill-mannered,"doll says as she grasped his tool firmly.

"Oh shag !"says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and cardigan and splattered onto her neck.

"You're fucking useless,"she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.

Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to cover to shedmaster to explain why he hadn't kept a proper look out.

"I had trouble wi injector see,"he explained,"These Gresley engines are rubbish."

"And thee driver ?"he asked. Now Tommy weren't kind of gent to dob any bugger in so he says,"Having a shit on me shovel while I worked on injector."

"Trying to sodomize thee more like,"inspector replied,"Ah well he won't be buggering any bugger any time soon, all cutis burned off his ass and that firebox door handle."

"Went up his ass,"Tommy said all innocent like.

"Did it heck as like,"said Inspector,"It went in all reet but it missed his ass hole, fact is he got two ass golf hole now."

"No, you're joking !"Tommy gasped.

"Fucking operating surgeon at railroad track Hospital hated the fat fucker so he made wound into second ass maw,"the inspector laughed,"He told Ted he coud have new calling in Circus as the man we two asses !"

"Bloody hell,"says Tommy,"I suppose he would rather have two shaft ?"he suggested.

"Not that sodomist !"examiner added.

Tommy was fascinated be Doncaster works, he saw railway locomotive with coach connection on supply ship,"What's that for ?"he asked.

"So driver can get a dry pint from buffet car when he's parched,"examiner told him.

As lick would let it Ted got septicemia and died, poor sodomist ‘ adn't no one, no family or nowt so he has a paupers funeral and the coupling paid for undertakers and for the best s hired hand casket pawn brokers had in inventory out of members subs.

Funeral day and four cuss took some screws and made sure the lid wasn't coming off any time soon before they carried it in to church and set the coffin down, then when service started. Priest asked Tommy to say a few words, being as he was Ted's utmost mate.

"I couldn't stick Ted. Ted were an ugly fat lazy bugger, a bloody prevaricator and a whoreson mate. He neber oiled his engine proper nor nothin'He died ‘ grounds he neglected his dooty to kip a looking at out. I remember him when we had crash"Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh,"he said wi'his trouser down and his ass jammed on firehole door lever knob."A great belly laugh came from the one-half twelve or so blokes what botheredbto turn up."I never liked him, no one I know liked him, and I'm bloody glad he's dead."

"Amon !"said someone,"Amen, well said lad !"and they all clapped.

Afterwards Vicar had a quiet down word wi Tommy,"I knows we says to always be honorable,"Vicar said,"But in twenty days I never heard such an honest eulogy spoken."

Tommy hadn't the slightest idea what he were on about. But when he got older he realised one thing, when it comes to buggery its dear to give than receive.

And dolly ? She failed the exam and had to move to British capital as they has miserable touchstone for Hoo ers than us do in Yorkshire .